24 March 2010

SOW: Sentence Combining/Topic sentences

Shinji does not have much of an ego. He gives credit to the gods for his good luck. He does not take credit himself. He offers a prayer to the gods for his good fortune. The Gods are part of nature. Nature is a part of his being. The sound of waves is like the beating of his own heart. Nature satisfies him and fills him with music.

Due to his lack of ego, Shinji, who is filled with happiness as a consequence of his accord with nature, attributes all his good fortune to the Gods who are imbedded in the landscape of the island. The beautiful imagery describing the island reveals the essential spirituality of Shinju’s home. As Shinju gazes at the clouds which “float like ancient gods,” he offers “a prayer of thanks to the gods for” his blessings. Shinju never considers that his luck is due to his own powers or skills. He is so full to “the core of his being” with “the opulence of nature, ” that he feels that it is nature, not his own efforts, that “satisfy his need.” Indeed the “sound of waves” on the island is tuned to the “surging of his young blood.” Shinju’s attunement with nature makes him a highly spiritual being, in tune with the beauty of the island and grateful to nature, not his own ego, for all his good luck and accomplishments (6-7).

Chapter 9
Yasua is proud. Yasuo has a big ego. Yasuo is not intuitive. Yasua is a schemer. He has evil plans. His watch is a symbol of his pride and evil nature. He uses his watch to plan his evil deeds. Shinji's relationship with Hatsue is a blow to Yasuo's pride.

Sample body paragraph for an essay about ego in which characters’ relative pride and ego are discussed.
Clear topic sentence states that Yasua has a lot of pride and is a schemer. The topic sentence also indirectly states that his watch is a symbol of his pride.
Quotes in the body paragraph are gracefully integrated.
Period comes after parenthesis.
Quotes prove Yasua is overly proud, a schemer, and that the watch, a symbol of his pride, leads to his downfall.



Yasua, whose pride and ego are evident in his fancy watch and leather jacket, is not as spontaneous or natural as Shinji or Hasue, so he uses his watch to plan his treacherous behaviour. When Yasua discovers that Shinji and Hatsue may be lovers, it is a “blow to Yasuo’s pride” (89). A scheming person, he plans to rape Hatsue, and “by looking at the water-drawing roster” he determines when Hatsue will be alone at the well. As “Yasuo is the proud” and “always bragging owner of a watch with a luminous dial,” he uses the timepiece to plan his assault. The watch becomes the symbol of his scheming nature and subsequent punishment when “the hornets come flying timidly toward the [light of] the wristwatch” and begin to sting Yasuo. Yasuo, with his watch to help him, is a schemer and a planner, unlike Shinji and Hatsue, whose actions are generally spontaneous and intuitive (90).



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